Playing for More: The Transformative Power of Dedicating a Match to Someone You Love
In the game of tennis, we chase excellence in every point, pushing ourselves to stay focused, fight harder, and believe deeper. But sometimes, the best performances don’t come from perfect preparation or polished technique. They come from playing for something, or someone, bigger than ourselves.
A few days ago, I lost my dog to cancer. She wasn’t just a pet, she was family, a daily companion through the wins and losses of life, and more loyal than any match record could ever be. Her presence was woven into my training days and recovery walks, my silent car rides to matches, and those moments when no words were needed. When she passed, I felt a weight that words couldn’t reach.
And yet, on the court just days after her passing, I found a strange kind of clarity. I dedicated that match to her. I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t make it a spectacle. I just told myself that every point I played would honor her strength, her joy, her unconditional love.
What followed was one of the most focused, emotionally rich matches I’ve ever played, not because I was at my physical best, but because I was mentally and spiritually anchored. I wasn’t playing for me that day. I was playing for her. And that changed everything.
This blog is for anyone, athlete or not, who wants to understand how dedicating your performance to someone (or something) meaningful can unlock a level of depth, focus, and strength you didn’t know you had.
The Psychology of Purpose-Driven Performance
Researchers and psychologists have long explored how motivation affects performance, especially under pressure. According to Self-Determination Theory (Ryan & Deci, 2000), human beings thrive when their actions are tied to intrinsic goals, goals rooted in meaning, growth, and connection. Playing for someone you love taps into this intrinsic wellspring, giving your effort emotional depth that transcends winning or losing.
In a 2014 study published in The Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, athletes who tied their performance to a cause or someone they deeply cared about showed more grit, greater resilience after errors, and a higher sense of fulfillment, regardless of the outcome.
When we dedicate a match, a race, or a performance to a person or a cause, we tap into what psychologist Viktor Frankl once called the “will to meaning.” In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Frankl wrote: “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear almost any ‘how.’” The same is true in sport. Purpose becomes a secret weapon.
Dedication vs. Motivation: Why It Matters
Motivation is often about achieving a goal, winning the match, setting a personal record, climbing the rankings. But dedication is something deeper. It’s not about what you want to achieve, it’s about who you’re playing for.
When you dedicate a performance:
- Your nerves are reframed as a way to honor someone else.
- Your fear becomes smaller than your purpose.
- Your focus narrows, not because of pressure, but because of meaning.
Examples of Purpose-Driven Athletes
- Serena Williams often spoke about playing for her daughter after becoming a mother. Her return to top-level tennis was fueled not just by personal ambition but by a desire to be an example of strength and perseverance.
- Michael Jordan dedicated his legendary 1996 NBA championship to his late father, after returning from retirement. That title wasn’t just a trophy, it was closure, love, and tribute.
- Naomi Osaka, during the 2020 U.S. Open, wore face masks honoring Black Americans who were victims of racial violence. She said she was playing to raise awareness, not just to win. And she did both.
When your “why” is rooted in love, memory, or mission, your mental game changes. You’re no longer fighting for ego, you’re fueled by something much more powerful.
How to Dedicate a Match: A Simple Framework
You don’t need a podium, a press conference, or a dramatic gesture. Dedicating a match, or any performance, is an internal act of intention. Here’s how to do it meaningfully:
- Choose Your Why
Think of someone or something that truly matters to you. It could be:
- A loved one who passed.
- A friend battling illness.
- A parent who sacrificed.
- A child you want to inspire.
- A cause you believe in.
- Set the Intention in Writing
Before your match or performance, take 5 minutes to write a dedication. It could be a note to yourself, a letter to that person, or a sentence like:
“Today, I play for [Name]. I will give my full focus, heart, and fight, not because I must win, but because they deserve my best.”
This act of writing anchors your intention, engages the Generation Effect (you remember and internalize what you write), and brings emotional clarity.
- Revisit It During the Match
When things get hard, when you’re down a break, frustrated, or mentally slipping, remind yourself of your dedication. Ask:
“How would they want me to respond right now?”
This creates a psychological reset that grounds you in strength.
Writing Trails: How to Make It a Ritual
At Lifewrite, we’ve developed Writing Trails that help players integrate purpose and focus into their preparation. Here are two that are especially powerful when dedicating a match:
- Trail: “Play with Purpose”
This pre-match Writing Trail guides you to:
- Identify who you’re dedicating the match to.
- Visualize how they would want you to show up.
- Set a mantra (e.g., “This one’s for her,” or “Fight like he did”).
Trail Prompt:
“Who am I playing for today, and why does it matter? What do I want to show them through the way I compete?”
- Trail: “Reflections with Meaning”
After the match, win or lose, this Trail helps you:
- Reflect on how you honored your dedication.
- Acknowledge the emotions that arose.
- Celebrate effort over outcome.
Trail Prompt:
“What did I learn about myself today? Did I fight in a way that would’ve made them proud?”
These Trails aren’t about performance metrics. They’re about connecting your heart to your effort. They’re a quiet ritual that turns tennis into something more than sport.
When It Hurts Most: Grief and the Court
If you’re grieving a loss, as I was, you may wonder if you’re even capable of competing. That’s valid. Grief is not linear. It may hit you mid-match, during a changeover, or after a routine point.
But here’s what I learned: The court can become a sanctuary. It’s one of the few places where you can feel fully, anger, sadness, joy, pride, and channel it through movement and focus.
Playing in honor of someone doesn’t erase the pain. It gives the pain a direction. It gives your grief a voice that doesn’t need words.
Why It Works: The Science of Purpose and Performance
Psychologists have found that purpose-driven athletes perform better under pressure. Here’s why:
- Increased Resilience
A study in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology (2015) found that athletes who played for a meaningful cause showed more mental toughness and quicker recovery from setbacks.
- Decreased Anxiety
Setting a purpose reduces performance anxiety. Instead of fearing mistakes, players focus on honoring the person or cause, which redirects energy toward the present.
- Enhanced Flow State
According to The Rise of Superman by Steven Kotler, flow states are more easily achieved when the task is emotionally meaningful. A personal dedication heightens emotional engagement, which is a key trigger for entering flow.
How Coaches and Parents Can Support This
If you’re a coach or a tennis parent, you can gently introduce the idea of playing with purpose, especially for athletes who struggle with nerves or inconsistency. You might ask:
- “Is there someone you’d like to honor with your effort today?”
- “If you dedicated this match to someone, how would that change how you show up?”
This reframing removes pressure and replaces it with meaning. You shift the focus from “I have to win” to “I get to play for something that matters.”
Final Thoughts: Love Is a Performance Enhancer
Tennis is personal. And when you dedicate a match to someone who shaped your life, it becomes more than a match, it becomes an offering.
Whether you’re grieving a loss, inspired by a cause, or simply want to make someone proud, playing with purpose activates a deeper level of motivation. It’s not about playing perfectly. It’s about playing honestly, fiercely, and with love.
That’s the match you’ll remember. That’s the version of you that will grow.
Try It Yourself
Before your next match, take 5 minutes to answer these:
- Who (or what) matters deeply to me right now?
- What values did they represent?
- How can I reflect those values through the way I compete?
Then write a simple dedication. Tuck it in your bag. Carry it with you, not as pressure, but as power.
Because when you play for something bigger than yourself, you’re never alone on the court.
